April 9, 2013
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petals
I found an old diary of mine in my room. It was very amusing because I’m a completely different person now. The entries began the summer before I graduated college and ended the day before I got accepted into graduate school.
I used to love pressing rose petals between pages.
The beginning entries were really sad, very pathetic. My first real relationship was basically crumbling before my eyes and I desperately wanted to hang on, even though I knew that things would never get better. I really wanted to get into graduate school, but had little hope of getting accepted. I had a really bad relationship with my mother and didn’t have too many real friends. It was clear that I wasn’t happy with who I was, but I really didn’t know how to go about changing. I just seemed devastated.
I’m so happy that things have changed. I don’t think the girl writing those sad entries would have ever thought she would have so many happy chapters in her life. Literally like, 9 hours after I wrote my last entry I got accepted into graduate school. I have worked hard, and have a 4.0 cumulative GPA to show for it. I’ve made new friends and was able to rebuild a relationship with my mom and forgave her for a lot of things. I get to help people every day and I’ve found a career path that I really enjoy. I’ve had so many positive experiences and have made so many good memories. I’ve been very unlucky with love, but I have learned to live happily (for the most part) on my own til I meet someone awesome.
I guess whenever I feel discouraged, I need to remind myself that I’ve come very far, and bad times never last.
Comments (7)
1. I have the same exact journal!
2. I love pressing roses between books, and then I take it out a day or two and place it in a box where I kept all of my pressed roses collected
I am so glad that you changed, that those sad pages no longer define who you are but helped endured you to become the person you are now
I used to write journals when I was younger but with the technology and busy schedule as I got older, I didn’t have a chance to write as much. But I have decided to do it again and I have been writing starting from yesterday. It is such a good feeling to write down everything that comes into my mind. The whole reason I started writing was that I was feeling so down yesterday and I thought it might help. I guess I did the right thinking because your entry right now is an inspiration. I’m going to write down everything about my dreams, my growth and even my bad days. I hope I can read back my old entries and feel accomplished one day in the future.
I don’t know if that was same time I first read your Xanga, but yeah, things were bad. :/
You’ve a 4.0 GPA? You’re a smartie girl.
We really don’t know what’s around the corner in life. Sometime we really don’t know what we want.
Congrats on your growth. And your earned GPA!
That is so awesome <3 I love going back and reading old journals, and I’m so happy to hear your life has become better than you dreamed possible.
Jenny,
As always, I commend your pure willingness to bare your soul, in a humble and honest way that is so rare, and inspirational.
Everytime I have the experience of reading a post such as this, the same thoughts go through my head as I read. “This girl is beautiful, unbelievable, just amazing how she can share these innermost feelings, minus any sliver of self obsession, or aggrandizement.”
Thank You kindly for all of the inspiring posts over these many years. For your friendship I am eternally grateful.
With Love and Thoughts, and Admiration,
Your Friend,
Michael